After 4 years of diligent writing, I have finally finished my memoir, “Sunlight on My Shadow”. I plan to publish it through my own company, City Creek Press. It should be ready for sale in about 8 weeks. There are alot of resources now available for marketing your own book if you self publish so I am going to leap into the unknown and learn as I go. I guess I have published many books already but I have sold these mainly by direct mail to parents and teachers so I will be learning new ways to market my memoir. I like the business side of book selling and look forward to learning about the marketing opportunities. I would love to do radio interviews, tv, and can only hope that I will be able to do this.
The journey of writing this book is best said by EL Doctorow, “It’s like driving a car at night. You can’t see any further than the headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” This is a perfect analogy because when I started writing I had no idea what the book would be about. I knew it was about my teen age pregnancy but so what? Like a fellow student in one of my writing classes said, “So you got pregnant, a lot of people get pregnant.” Good point. So how do I make my story unique. What is intriguing about it for a reader? I started out in the dark but as I wrote, the story shuffled out of me. It is a story of healing from the damaging effects of holding a secret and like my writing teacher said, “Judy, you are an authority on shame.”
I feel like writing the book has healed me from the shame of holding this secret for years and finally coming clean. It has not been a swift process. At first I wrote tons of young girl stories that really had nothing to do with the real story. But, I was turning over the soil, preparing the earth for the seeds that would be planted and would sprout. I loved the writing. I cried big walloping tears some days as I wrote and recalled the horrific birth at the home for unwed mothers and the shear dread of holding my pregnancy a secret for five months, and then relinquishing my sweet baby.
My brother Jeff asked if I could go back in history and make it different, knowing what I know now, would I change it? This is an interesting question. Of course, it is just a fun exercise in fantasy because what is done is done. but if there was any way I could change it when I was 16, I would have done it. I almost promised I would be a nun if I got my period. That is how much I wanted it back then. But now that I am 62, I see that I have gained spiritual insight from having gone through this experience and through writing my story. Could I have gotten this another way? I have gained empathy for others. I have become less judgemental
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